ow

i stubbed one left toe while getting up to turn on the light and running into the sofa.

and then crushed the toes on my right foot in my haste to swerve away from the sofa.
i conveniently rammed my right foot directly into the table leg that was adjacent to the sofa.

i fall down spectacularly onto the floor. my roommate, tony, looks at me in all astonishment because i'm basically like a walking disaster.
i yelp "ow" when my one left toe knocks into the couch, give a bigger "oophm" when three of my toes on my right foot hit the table, and basically crash very unglamourous-ly onto the floor.

me: *being paranoid* oh no, tony, does my middle right toe look bent and weird?? like compared to the other one??

it's ridiculous to ask the question, because my toes are small.. and i was talking about bent as in a slight difference in angle.

tony offers to get an ice pack for my toes.
i reject the offer because i'm secretly afraid of the cold.

something tells me that my future home can't be one with too many clean lines and sharp edges... i'm liable to kill myself in such a place.