communication

how important is it for me to be understood?

i keep thinking of tony's picture book in the living room
it's called "what's so amazing about grace?"
and there's a page in it that shows all the hustle and bustle in the shopping mall
and above every individual there's a thought bubble that reads

"like me"

i think my need to be understood comes from a yearning in me to be liked.
i don't want people to have the wrong image of me, to have the wrong conception of my ideas, to be misconstrued and thought differently from who i wanted you to see, from who i believe i really am.
there's a desire for control

half formed words and images in the mind
that spill out in speeches incomplete and we're left feeling like there's still a gaping hole

but really

is it that important that i be understood?
we will never be entirely known by someone else
when we're still in the midst of knowing ourselves

and that shouldn't be the main point anyway. if i want to be intentional about my relationships, if i want to show love, then it should be about the other person.

teach me to seek to understand rather than to seek to be understood