on eating healthily
c: it's not that i have no self-control, it's just that i don't have any will

but then again, after eating rachel's cooking tonight.. i would say that i might find myself in the same predicament. coffee, wine, salad, bread with vinegar and oil, apricot glazed pork cutlets, quiche, risetto, cheesecake... oh mama.

on a side note,
i think christians are the only people (to my knowledge anyway) who worry alot about being authentic and real.
we intellectualize, debate, and fret over the way we appear to other people, and how real we are in our relationships, etc.
we worry over our 'packaging' way too much and, simultaneously, too little.

we never really settle down to the "just be's"

yet when we do,
there's always the dilemma of being complacent, of living comfortable, safe, lives that fail to intersect with any other human form, that fail to reach out and act, to love the unloved.

so, we do need to keep questioning, to critically examine ourselves and keep seeking grace on areas in our lives.
but how much preponderance is crippling.
and dear god, how do we be?

it really does have to all come back to you.