lessons.

so i am learning that i am not enough, and grad school is doing a good job of pounding that into my brain.
but i am also learning that it's ok to be not enough, because there was never a need to be whole solely by one's endeavours.
i thought i learnt that in the past but i think it's a lesson that keeps unravelling itself and in short, is a process.

undergrad for me was easy. i attended only 60% of my classes and still got my grades. i never needed to study in groups and preferred to do things my way, without burdening myself with anyone else's schedule.

but now, it's role reversal, and i find myself in a situation where i do have to ask for help. in all honesty, one of the things i took pride in was academics. it seemed to be the only thing i was good at. so having the tables turned on me, having to seek help and explanation from others meant being vulnerable. it meant that i did not know enough, and could not stand by myself.

it's a humbling but beautiful lesson. and i think the beauty of it all lies with my classmates. mai, dongwoo, tyler, simon, kelvin, hao, rasool and jenny, you guys will never see this post since you don't even know that my blog exists, but i really do thank you for all the patience and help you've provided. you guys make me feel like there is no stupid question to ask, or even if it was a stupid question, you've had the grace to explain all and not be patronizing.

there are other lessons to be learnt besides the one that's being written on the board, and thank you guys for sharing it with me.



on side note: i resolve to eat better since the stress of the last two weeks has actually made me lose weight, which is nice but not necessarily healthy.