disheartened

this has been such a bad day.

i went for my group meeting in the morning only to feel utterly and completely disheartened. i didn't understand the discussion that was flying over my head and when they tried to discuss and explain everything to me in some mathematical form and debate on how to answer the question, i felt lost and more confused.

but the worst part was i forgot the TA lab session i scheduled today and didn't show.
and that to me is highly irresponsible and unforgivable. if i was the student, i would totally be bitching about the TA.

i hate this sense of incompetence and of letting others down.

right now, crawling under a rock doesn't feel so bad.
i wish i could start the day over again.