highlights and the lowlights

high:

getting into the MA program
passing the damn MA exams (oh thank god, there is no need to repeat anything)
fell in love
sneaked a peak into a whole different world and culture
learning bits and pieces of a new language
enjoyed kimchi for free
played tennis
relished the snow for what it was, snowboarding and snowball fights
coming back to vancouver in jan and having it feel like home
having him pick me up at the airport
waking up next to someone you love
discovering golf
glen visiting vancouver
playing basketball
having found how friends really care for you in time of need
reconnecting with an old friend
sharing my world with someone

low:
rejection from damn canadian schools for phd program
realising that in the top 5%, you're not that good enough
having to still struggle with more work and not quite knowing what you learnt in term1
horrendous piles of marking and the temptation to just give zeroes to everyone
too much rain
realising that you didn't do enough and that you could have done much much better
lack of direction
finding out how childish i can be
losing love
being left behind
having vancouver become empty for me
having to say goodbye


i had a dream last night that he came by to say goodbye, that he was leaving for korea tomorrow morning. in my dream, i was seized with panic because at that point i wasn't ready yet for him to go, for me to say goodbye

i woke up after that, greeted by the morning sun and white walls. the construction work had already begun outside and the shrill screams of a drill in process testified to this fact. as i sank under my covers again, i mumbled the same prayer i have been praying for the past few weeks.

하나님, 힘 주십시요