i am bubbling inside with this secret.

i think a part of me is like mrs dalloway. i like planning, plotting, and presenting people with a surprise. there is something fun about implementing a setting that people can enjoy, about putting a sudden smile on someone's face.

besides i think its always more fun to be the "giver" than a receiver. the build up of anticipation is all on the planner's side.

of course... this could be just a reflection of other control issues ;)