where do your thoughts wander to these days?

my thoughts usually travel to S first these days. maybe its natural that it should given the amount of time we spend in each other's company. but i wake up, thinking about S, and this invariably also leads to thinking and sorting out issues within myself.

i think about God also, but this isn't unusual either since i've grown up thinking of God as a friend, invisible but omniscient, forever there. and thinking about God leads me to thinking about life, about what i should be doing, about people. how each soul seems to be trying to find their way through life and wants to (or maybe are waiting to) burst out against any bars imposed, any cage they are afraid they might find themselves in. i think about how a large number of us are connected through small devices and virtual networks, yet largely live in social disconnect (to our neighbour on the bus, the man asking for money on the streets, the tired bag lady on the train)

and then, (even though i should give this way more thought) i think about work. how i'm avoiding responsibilities and drifting along because i haven't a good sense of the next step, of what to do, of how to compute and solve.

but really, mostly, in the end,

i still think about you