I am fortunate. I am fortunate enough to have been unlucky. Not a misprint. And learned from that unluck what to do. Life is a series of mistakes. It doesn’t matter. Love matters. By which I mean a certain open-heartedness. And a pleasure in the everyday and the ordinary. And knowing when someone is looking after you. And knowing how to be thankful. I worry that we are becoming too calculating. Always asking what the outcome will be, what the result will be, what the profit will be. What’s in it for me is a loveless response.A measure of delight changes everything. - Jeanette Winterson

my mom is still one of my biggest teachers. we were talking the other day about taiwan and comparing its cleanliness with Singapore and about how the Taiwanese were very courteous. And I asked my mom why she thought Singaporeans weren't as courteous. her answer was that courtesy (or rather the lack thereof) is just a byproduct of a selfish nature. As long as we're asking what's in it for me before any action, its unlikely we have the other person in mind to begin with.

sometimes i make fun of my mom for the number of commitments she has- things that she's not obligated to perform, but that she does anyway. She makes herbal soup for the widow who lives 2 floors above us because the widow has a sickly mother and so she's busy enough and my mom thinks that herbal soup will give her more strength and sustenance for the day. she still does grocery shopping for my brother and his family because my brother and sister-in-law both work , so she thinks doing this would save them time and let them breathe more easily after a long day at work. she emails me my niece's math homework questions, things that my mom doesn't know how to solve or explain, so she quickly writes to me so that she can figure out a way to explain the concept to my niece. she flew multiple trips to australia to take care of her friend (who had cancer) and packed off one of her friend's daughters to a day at the spa because she was so frazzled from taking care of her mom and her one year old toddler. i mean, these are things to me that seem like a nuisance at first glance, having to do so much extra work. but then i realize that they mean a lot to the other and that its probably a huge blessing to that other person.

so i'm trying not to be too arrogant but to be humble like my mom. because i think she is a great example to follow. i'm trying to remember to give and give because someone needs it, not because i can get something out of it or that i think the person deserves it. hopefully, one day, that calculating nature lessens and giving and delighting in others grows in its place