just a taste

waking up in the seven am.
boarding the bus, jostling with the crowd for the train
join the office crowd at city hall
beep my access card into the lift, through the floor's polished glass walls
flipping on my laptop, bleary eyed for the next 4 hours

lunch. and then work.
grabbing the other intern and going for a self-mandated 4 o' clock coffee break.
return home. jostle for place on train. wait for bus.
anti social behavioural tendencies, lose self in the world of the literary.

is this growing up?

i feel i've been a small sliver of the working world to sample. i've been talking about the working life with peers who are in the same position as me. watched them keep afloat whilst working 14 hours a day, 5 days a week.
i've understood the exhaustion that comes at the end of the day, when initial plans for outings are swept aside as weariness sets in.
i can see just how hard it would be to be a working parent coming home, having a child excitedly greet you but yet not being able to reciprocate with the same energy to engage in their games

and i've been asked the question, so what happens to the self, to your social life when we become adults?

doesn't seem very positive does it?
but maybe that's when university life starts shedding its skin and we stop entertaining just our 'self's. we learn to cleave, to not put our own convenience first, to give way and let someone else win for once.
maybe this is when the question of what's important to us becomes even more urgent and apparent in the background of a seemingly ceaseless routine.


i sat in the back of the car, listening to the music, lapsing in and out of the conversation as my friend drove me home. in the breaks of our conversation, i watched as his eyes quickly cut to the left, and he rests his hand on his girlfriend in the front passenger seat.

"you ok?"
she turns, and mutters something inaudible, slowly shifting out of her sleep.
"why don't you take a nap first?" he says

something sweet about the gesture makes me smile as i observe their quick interchange.
and i think this is what excites me about growing up. just watching my friends become adults.