solitude is good but only for a while.
after that, you start craving and blaming the world for moving on.

in an attempt to retreat this year to ward off weariness and seek some form of rejunavation, i've only managed to retreat into myself and later found that i've turned out to be someone whom i seriously have no inclination of being. the problem of retreating into the self is that you cut out your community, and you begin to imagine the world revolves around you and your schedule. you do not fit your days to suit anyone, things have to work according to your slots, the hours of availability you permit.

and so you work around yourself, become lazy, tardy because truly, being on time for other people doesn't rank highly in a world about you. you become inconsiderate, not thinking twice and become presumptious. you don't care how you appear in front of the other and are unreliable because you don't give a damn.

and then like dorian gray, the picture of you is slowly decaying, and you realize that this was who you never wanted to be.


if it's time for a revolution, how can it be self-made?