retrospective:

its raining outside as i leave the office at 930pm. I half-walk, half-run in the rain to the shuttle stop, gingerly navigating my way past puddles on the ground and darker shades of land that look suspiciously like black ice.

i reach the bus stop and its pouring harder. a random stranger tries to make friendly conversation about the weather but i'm tired and i have no incentive to prolong any dialogue beyond the niceties. I pointedly stare at the ground and watch as "raindrops" hit the ground but fail to dissipate or produce any splash. its no longer raining, its hailing.

my thoughts centre on how much work i have to do, how much i have left undone and how badly i am doing in my classes. my adrenaline levels are high from fear, the fear of disappointing myself and fear of failure. its not a new feeling just that on a night like tonight i'm weary and such thoughts consume me more than usual.

it is a quiet night.