take my world apart

i started the leaders' retreat weekend in curtis' car, turning the jars of clay tune over and over in my head. the song seeped in unconsciously thanks to tony and hannah constantly playing and singing it around the house.

in replaying the music over and over again in my head, i started to listen closely to the lyrics. i previously took the song to mean somebody seeking to embrace God in every way and i conveniently just left it as that.

but what does it mean to embrace God in every way.
if you look at the lyrics, you can see that the chorus is pretty heavy.
the constant refrain is take my world apart
and it's such a strong line, such a huge commitment.
it means letting everything, the good, the bad, your whole world, all that you love and all that you hate, all your hopes, dreams, despair; letting it all be crushed, taken apart, and broken down into pieces by God

and living a different life that He wills.

Can I be the one to sacrifice

i want to be.


the leaders' retreat gave me a lot to think about. what it means to follow Him, what it means to be intentional in my relationship with God and with others. that leadership means engaging in a relationship to nurture the other person, we're in it for the other person's development. to only say the things we mean. and that not doing something at times is as bad as doing something wrong.

that in everything, it's NOT about the self. it's not about your rights. it's about GRACE and giving it. it's about love.

this is just so gargantuan for selfish ol' me.
if i got to get used to this,
help me.

watch the world I used to love, fall to dust and thrown away

take my world apart

worlds apart--j.o.c